back to reality

Night before last, my son and I went to visit my mom, play on my mom’s I-pad. He talked me into staying the night over at her house, which in only about twenty minutes from mine, but I agreed. The next day, yesterday, we went running around town, groceries and such, and I asked her to take me over to my house so I could let the dogs out. When we got to the house. I didn’t think anything of it. I let the dogs out, puttered around the house, and realized that the animals probably needed their food feeders filled. (try saying that three times fast, “food feeders filled”) I go down into the basement to find a swimming pool. I didn’t think it was a deep as it was, so, I like the genius that I am, wade in it. When I got to the middle of my laundry room the water was up over my ankles. I start freaking out, my mom’s upstairs with my son yelling, “What! What!” I’m just like come down here and effing look! I start grabbing things and sending them up the stairs. I’m pissed at this point because things are getting ruined. I have a chest freezer sitting in about eight inches of water.

I want it to be known that this was not my most shining moment. I know in retrospect, I didn’t handle things as well as I could have.

I rushing around trying to get things up out of the water. My son is insisting on being down there with me. Bless his heart, he was just worried about me. But I was worried, I didn’t want him in the nasty water. So, I’m screaming my head off at my son to get out of the gross water. My mom’s standing there the pillar of calmness. Which was really pissing me off because I wanted help. She went over to Lowes and bought a sump pump.

I’m down in the basement trying to  rig this damn sump pump up the way the guy at the store told us to and the water keeps shooting me in the face. I’m beyond pissed at this point because I can’t figure out how to get this thing together. (insert explicitives here) Every time I turn it on it shoots me up in the face and there my son is the thick off things. Now that I think of it, you know calmly, I would have done the same thing at his age, and did. When I was about 6-7 years old my mom’s apartment complex decided to clean the carpets in the apartment. I couldn’t stand not being in the middle of it all. I had one of those pop up tents on my bed and I crawled up in there while the cleaners shuffled the bed and it’s contents around the room to clean it, ultimately I fell asleep in the tent.

bed tent

This is like the one I had but I think mine had My Little Ponies or Strawberry Shortcake on it.



At any rate, my mom had bought a sump pump that you stick in a hole. My guess is when she went to the store to get a pump she requested a sump pump and the guy that sold it to her thought she was sticking it in a hole. In reality all we wanted to do was get the water out of my basement. So after a while, after I was frustrated to the point of crying i sat down with the instruction manual and figured out it was the wrong product, so I called Lowes explain exactly what I needed and the guy on the other end, Jeremy, explains that i needed a utility pump (I accidently typed utility pimp, give me a break my fingers are tired form cleaning up the basement). We go back and get the new pump and it takes me five minutes to hook it up and four hours to pump the water out. My mom had taken my son to her house while I waited for the pump to finish, cleaned up the rest of the basement, and polished off a bottle of Sutter Home Moscato, because damn it I deserved it.

I had pulled all the plugs to the appliances in the basement because you know….I didn’t want to get accidently electrocuted. My chest freezer unthawed, but it wasn’t a tragedy, I lost a ton of squash that may or may not have EVER gotten eaten and a chicken that was dated 2012. It probably needed done anyway.


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